Walking with Angels

for Lindsay

AIDS
knows the condom wrapped penetration
of strangers and lovers, deep inside
only a tear away from risk

knows bare minimum t-cell level counts,
replacing intoxicating cocktails
with jagged little pills

knows how to avoid a cure thanks to war
how to keep pharmaceutical corporations
and doctors in business

AIDS
knows the weight loss desired by supermodels,
knows the fearless meaning
of a friend’s genuine kiss or hug
converts non-believers to religion and spirituality

comprehends loneliness
values the support of luminaries
smiles at the solidarity of single red ribbons

knows to dim the lights to elude detection
how to shame someone into hiding
from the rest of the world
to be grateful for the gift of clothing and shelter,
to remain silent,
holding back the anger and frustration

AIDS
knows that time on earth is limited for all of us
that using lemons to make lemonade is better
than drinking the Kool-Aid
but no matter how much you drink, you are always left dehydrated

knows working extensive hours
to pay hospital bills, the choice of survival
or taking pleasure in what is left of life

knows the solid white walls
you want to crash through and tear down
the thoughts of suicide in the back of your head

AIDS
knows the prosperous could be doing more
with their wealth
and that everyone still thinks it is a deserving fate—
for gays, drug addicts, prostitutes,
and the unfortunate children of such
born into a merciless world
of posh handbags and designer jewelry

knows how to be used as another percentage
to profit politicians
knows it doesn’t only affect humans but animals too, without bias

—providing fodder for art
and something to be left behind

if there is a God
he has disregarded our prayers
left his angels behind to journey along with us
—none of us knowing exactly where we are headed

—Emanuel Xavier

© 2002, 2021. All rights reserved.

Used by permission of the author.

From Selected Poems of Emanuel Xavier (Rebel Satori Press)